It's been days since I witnessed the sun rising. Days since I the birds twittering woke me at the start of dawn. I'm heartbroken and homesick and it's only been a week since we began to pack up our belongings and place them in storage along with our plans.
It was to be a good year for gardening. I had time off from teaching and a part-time job. The rest of my time was going to be tending the vegetable and herb gardens which have yet to be planted. God has other plans. The empty shell of my home, all the money I had potentially for my end years and all my dreams are perched on the bank of the Missouri River waiting for the river to rise.
I'm in disbelief that this could be happening - my neighbors working frantically to get out of their homes, sandbag or just deal with the shock of being displaced. The farmer's fields are planted and as of yesterday he continues to care for them and wonder what is going to happen. Oh yes, we live north of Mandan on the high side of the river. The house has been there for 30 or so years, a modest house that we have been working on for three years. We haven't been in the center of the activity but it doesn't hurt any less to lose our life savings at an age where we may never have time to recover. It doesn't matter, or so I can say in a most painful way. But now my life is not my own. I cannot plan on eating fresh vegetables from my garden, or canning them for the winter. I cannot even cook, I don't know where my things are - buried deep in the back of a trailer. I'm trying to concentrate on work, but you know, it seems pretty pointless at this time of despair and grief at the loss of our possessions. When we were through, my husband began sandbagging and helping others down south. I went with him before I left town for work and it felt good to be outside and working hard.
We have a lot to be grateful for - JC's co-workers swooped down on our home and packed it up in two days. We found a semi-trailer to rent for a couple of months so all of our things are in one place. We found a home for our cat and some things from the garage. My garden plants are still waiting to be placed in the soil. I may or may not get to do that this weekend. It depends on the community garden plots in Mandan, the weather and a higher power that really does control our lives.
“Be careful [anxious] for nothing; but in everything prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God” (Philippians 4:6).
I'm so thankful to everyone who helped us move and am really grateful that we have a place to sleep and now we must wait upon the Lord. I'm not sure nothing short of a miracle can save the empty shell we used to call home so I'm working on peace and acceptance that everything will be made new for the glory of God.
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